You Got Any Skills?

In the surprise hit film of 2004, Napoleon Dynamite, the title character speaks on multiple occasions of having “skills.” In one of the film’s more memorable scenes, there is a dialogue that includes this interchange:

Napoleon: "Well, nobody's gonna go out with me."
Pedro: "Have you asked anybody yet?"
Napoleon: "No, but who would?I don't even have any good skills."
Pedro: "What do you mean?"
Napoleon: "You know, like numchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."

Napoleon Dynamite is an awkward teenage boy, rather homely in appearance and lacking many social graces. His insecurity is masked by a vivid imagination and a sour disposition. Evidence of the vivid imagination are these comments:

Don: "Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do all last summer again?"
Napoleon: "I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!"
Don: "Did you shoot any?"
Napoleon: "Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins. what the heck would you do in a situation like that?"
Don: "What kind of gun did you use? "
Napoleon: "A frickin' 12-gauge, what do you think?"

And …

"You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bo-staff."

The sour disposition is evident from the first scene of the film on the school bus:

Kid On Bus: "What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?"
Napoleon Dynamite: "Whatever I feel like I wanna do, Gosh!"

As I watched this film, I was constantly wondering why this boy’s attitude was so sour. It was a very annoying feature of the film. I would speculate that there was some incident in his past involving his parents, for he lives with his brother and grandmother, and the transient Uncle Rico. My speculations are unimportant. Certainly, beneath the heavy layer of fantastic imagination and negative demeanor is a boy who feels as if he has nothing to contribute to the world at large, because he is lacking in skills.

Pedro seeks to encourage Napoleon, saying, “Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like, animals and warriors and stuff?” Napoleon responds, “Yes. Probably the best that I know of.” We the viewers who have peered over Napoleon’s shoulder as he penciled sketches of Ligers and other mystical, mythical creatures, are taken aback by the confident assertion. Soon Napoleon learns that drawing can be added to numchucks, bow hunting, and computer hacking, as yet one more thing which is NOT his skill.

In the end, Napoleon Dynamite, it seems does have a skill. He is a friend. In this day and time, that skill is becoming rarer than numchuck proficiency or cage fighting. And young people who might have this skill are often like Napoleon Dynamite. They hide that skill beneath layers of cynicism, fantasy, and mistaken notions of what it means to be cool. After spending most of the movie resisting nausea because of the lead character, at film’s end I found myself envious of him. Napoleon Dynamite has a skill I covet. He knows how to be a friend to the friendless. And that skill is much like Another Person I know: Jesus Christ who became a friend of sinners for our redemption. If I could be more like Him, that would be flippin’ sweet.

Aslan is on the move!

Perhaps I’ve been thinking too much about denominational matters lately and desire to think about loftier things. When the idea of higher things comes to mind I am reminded of my favorite part of C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

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Mr. Beaver: “They say Aslan is on the move – perhaps has already landed.”

And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don’t understand but in the dream it feels as if it has some enormous meaning – either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.

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When I think about this excerpt from Lewis’s work, the words of Philippians 4:8 come to mind: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever, is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (ESV). Knowing that Christ “is on the move”, may our minds be saturated with all these things as the Spirit of God works His will in our lives.

"Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money (Mt. 6:24, ESV).

In the United States, what is it that really fuels our economy? An economy, mind you, that at least seems to be structured purely on the necessity of sizable growth. Could the “it” that fuels our economy be a growing desire to acquire more and bigger possessions?

For example, in 2005, the Associated Press reported the growing size of the average American house. Families have decreased in size over the past couple of generations concerning the number of children per household; yet, the average square footage of homes has increased.

It is now necessary to have multiple cars for each household. Now, I realize that we live in a mobile society and multiple vehicles have become a genuine necessity. However, it seems that we Americans try to outdo one another when it comes to the size of our gas guzzling SUVs.

I remember the first time I applied for a credit card. I was twenty two years old and considered a risk by the credit card company because at such an age, I did not have an appropriate credit history. Fourteen years later, my mail box is flooded with credit card offers almost every day by lending companies who seem to care-less about my credit history and would love nothing more than to see me in a situation in which I could never pay them back; thus, being indebted to them for a lifetime. Credit cards are easy to get, and if we feel that our lifestyles aren’t as exuberate as we believe they should be, we do not think twice about maxing those cards out never thinking of the future or caring about how we will repay the debt.

Several scenarios must play out for Americans to maintain our... uuhh... lifestyles. First, our economy must remain strong enough for certain jobs to exist. Not just any jobs, but the kind of jobs that pay Americans enough money so that they can make those mortgage payments on those 6000 sq. ft. homes nestled in the nice suburbs; homes which seem barely big enough for mom, dad, and their little angel (sarcasm).

Whatever these jobs are and whatever this economic growth is suppose to accomplish, it all seems to take its toll on the environment. This week my local newspaper reported the growing and disturbing trend of permanent ecological damage as hardwoods and grass lands are lost to development. The development has robbed the environment’s ability to absorb storm water causing flash flooding in developed areas when just a few inches of rain falls. To fix the situation, literally millions of dollars will be spent in the next several years just to create storm drain systems in the county made necessary by the development which is supposedly necessary for us to maintain our growing economy and "deserved" lifestyles. In other words, our lust for more is creating permanent ecological damage to creation. And by the way, is it not creation that brings glory and honor to God?

Our lust for more also takes its toll on American manufacturing. As a result, manufacturing jobs continue to decrease as goods are produced elsewhere for less, so that “desperate housewives” can spend all day at Goody’s and Target with greater spending power. But hey! Who cares? Manufacturing jobs are for those poor saps who could never live in 6000 sq. ft. homes anyway... right?

At the same time, those who lost their manufacturing jobs will be in line at the county health department signing their children up for Medicare because health insurance is no longer affordable since the plant closed. Oh, and they will not be at Target when they leave the health department; rather, they will be at the Goodwill store looking for clothes for their children.

The other jobs out there that cannot come close to helping us maintain our (supposedly deserved) lifestyles are jobs that we reserve for the immigrants. Unchecked immigration is how we keep services cheap, so that the rest of us can enjoy that certain lifestyle to which we have grown accustomed.

Next, it is absolutely necessary that fuel prices remain cheap in order for us to operate our big honkin SUVs. Oh, we might want to believe that the CEOs of the petroleum companies are greedy, and maybe to some extent they are; I don’t know. However, a market is a market, and when demand goes up and supply goes down, the price WILL increase. During the 90s car companies were in an all-out-war to see who could build the biggest SUV because we Americans demanded them. Now, every time one of these huge tanks pulls up to the gas pump, supply struggles to keep up with demand. But, hey! We’re Americans! We deserve to drive around in army tanks... right?

Here’s the problem in a nutshell: we see our neighbor’s big house and big SUV... we want the same... we feel we deserve it... we go and get the same, and we don’t care of the consequences. It’s called envy, and consequences are cast aside when envy controls one’s heart.

When I was in high school, the rock band, Dire Straits, pegged us correctly when, in the lyrics of their song, “Money for Nothing,” they described one’s envious desire to have what the performers on MTV had... money for nothing.

"Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits

I want my I want my MTV x4

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's

See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's a millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV's

I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
And he's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin' on the bongoes like a chimpanzee
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV's, Lord

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free

Money for nothin' and chicks for free